Jasmine Hart

I love and adore this. Feel free to PM me/post in my "Will Review For Food" thread if you want any other poetry reviewed, as I'd love to read more ...

Hi. This flows well overall, but it's jerky in parts, for example; "Ease their pain And defend the believers; Melt those hearts of stone. " I'd try reading it aloud ...

Hi. This flows well. I like; "like a memory lost" and " self consumer of my woes". These are interesting and fresh lines, beautifully worded. I don't think the repetition ...

Hi. I enjoyed this. It starts well, and the opening imagery works well. I especially liked; "millions of tiny gold pennies, falling from grace down into the drainpipes, rolling into ...

Hi. You have some good phrases here; "enslaved by this blindness" and "beauty transcended", but, as a whole, I think that this needs to be cleaned up a bit. In ...

Hi. Welcome to YWS! This opens well as the first line is dramatic and draws the reader in. I'd add a full stop at the end of each couplet. Actually, ...

I love these. You adhered to the form perfectly, and your imagery is beautiful and clear. The second is my favourite. I really love; "The purple black enchantment." It's a ...

Hi. Welcome to YWS! First I'd click "edit" and change the format of this. Use the space bar to get onto a new line. I'd try something like this; "Sometimes ...

Hi. Your imagery is great here, and this flows very well. I think that; "Of those that try define it." is a bit forced, as is the whole second stanza. ...

Hi. You have some good imagery here, such as; "The grave sits awkwardly on this silent hill," "An organ plays in a stone-cold church, " and "A child sits on ...

Hi. First I'd click edit and then press the "check spelling" button to catch typos. I'd cut; "And the reason it does, the reason you laugh and cry with it, ...

Hi. Welcome to YWS! You have some great imagery here. I really love; "The moon of your desire Casts an Eclipse on the Sunshine of your hate", and it flows ...

This flows well and your imagery is beautiful and vivid. I really loved; "the willow tree that bent under your hand," and "peel off pains that caressed you like a ...

Hi. This flows well and progresses nicely from beginning to end. First I'd fix the layout of this so that it looks like a poem on the page. Maybe something ...

Hi. The first thing I'd do is rate this for content. The first stanza is fine. I'd change the hands over the lips bit-it's a very strange image and I ...